


dumb Formula drivers being in love with each other

by snafund



Category: f1, formula 1 - Fandom, formula one - Fandom, racing drivers - Fandom
Genre: AU, Angst, Drabbles, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Inspired by Music, M/M, One Shot, One-Shots, Sexual References, Sexual innuendos, Short Stories, drivers in love, flatmates, previous relationships, prompts, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-10-28 15:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20780717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snafund/pseuds/snafund
Summary: Short(-ish) F1 drabbles inspired by songs or prompts.So far:Nico Hülkenberg/Kevin MagnussenSebastian Vettel/Kimi RäikkönenLando Norris/a certain Spanish man you can maybe guess (and Max as Lando's flatmate)Daniel Ricciardo/Max VerstappenSuggestions are welcome !





	1. Nico Hülkenberg/Kevin Magnussen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Nico Hülkenberg/Kevin Magnussen
> 
> Song: ZZ Top - Rough Boy (''Afterburner'', 1985)

The air inside the pub was heavy and tainted with cigarettes and cheap alcohol. It was beyond Nico’s comprehension, as to how the Dane could find a bar this… _ quaint _, but over the years he had learned that the man was full of surprises. The surprises were not always pleasant _per se_, but this one was turning out better and better as Nico’s glass seemed to be unable to empty even though he was sure he had done so at least four times already. The Dane was cunning at managing his hydration.

‘’So, how did you find a pub,’’ Nico took another mouthful of beer and eyed Kevin over their booth’s wooden table. ‘’That still allows smoking inside?’’

Kevin snorted, leaning back against the red fabric of the booth seats. ‘’We’re in Azerbaijan.’’

Nico looked into his glass, watching the small bubbles rise to the surface and disappear. ‘’You’re right.’’

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to their surroundings and the Azerbaijani having loud conversations over old rock music that inhabited the small pub. Occasionally, Kevin would stretch out his hand to take a swig from his glass and occasionally give Nico a look the German couldn’t quite identify in his current state of _slight_ intoxication.

It was at the first few bangs of drums on ZZ Top’s ‘’Rough Boy’’, when Nico placed the finally empty glass on the table. Kevin leaned over, eyeing him in a way Nico recognized as _ exploratory _. Searching his blue eyes as if they held some sort of ancient mysteries.

‘’What’re you looking for?’’ Nico asked after a while of feeling weird at the other man studying his face. Kevin smiled, which felt even weirder as it was a rare sight. It wasn’t a snarky smile, but a warm and kind one.

‘’Just, wait for a second and I’ll…’’ he said and kept on staring, his smile growing to almost _ sweet _. Nico sat there, completely unable to move. The Azerbaijani around fell silent, the music fading away with them. Just Kevin, in front of him, looking into his eyes and smiling, nothing more.

‘’We should get out of here.’’ Nico was snapped back to reality, his ears filling with loudness yet again. He stared at the Dane flustered, not really sure what he had just said.

‘’Wha.. What?’’ he struggled out and felt a shiver run up his spine, his brain taking a few seconds to re-adjust itself. Kevin got up and offered his hand to Nico.

‘’Come on, let’s go.’’ he said, wiggling his hand in the air, and Nico’s brain went to grab it. After Kevin had pulled him up, he didn’t let go of his hand, but instead dragged him through the crowd of drunk men and to the entrance. He didn’t let go even after they had exited, holding his hand firmly as they walked along the pavement.

‘’Where are we going?’’ the German asked with a slight tone of uncertainty into his voice. Kevin quickened their pace at that.

‘’To my bedroom.’’ he said bluntly and Nico almost tripped over his own feet, not sure if it was because of the beer or what Kevin was doing to his central nervous system.

‘’Oh.’’ Nico said as Kevin had hastened them to almost a jogging speed. He gripped the Dane’s hand tighter, the connection between his brain and feet clearing up, and now they were running. ‘’Okay.’’

*******

**ZZ Top - Rough Boy**

  
** _What in the world's come all over me?_ **  
** _I ain't got a chance of one in three_ **  
** _Ain't got no rap, ain't got no line_ **  
** _But if you'll give me just a minute I'll be feeling fine_ **  
  
** _I am the one who can fade the heat_ **  
** _The one they all say just can't be beat_ **  
** _I'll shoot it to you straight and look you in the eye_ **  
** _So gimme just a minute and I'll tell you why_ **  
  
  
** _I'm a rough boy, I'm a rough boy_ **  
  
  
** _I don't care how you look at me_ **  
** _Because I'm the one and you will see_ **  
** _We can make it work, we can make it by_ **  
** _So give me one more minute and I'll tell you why_ **

  
** _I'm a rough boy, I'm a rough boy_ **

** **


	2. Sebastian Vettel/Kimi Räikkönen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Sebastian Vettel/Kimi Räikkönen
> 
> Song: Cheat Codes ft. Little Mix - Only You (''ML5'', 2018)
> 
> //
> 
> This is a gift for CustardCreamies, who suggested the song and pairing <3

Kimi switched off his car engine and took a hold of his phone. He checked the last message once more before exiting his car. _ ‘’I need you.’’ _

The beach was empty, the waves slowly coming in and then out to the sea again. Kimi walked down to the shore, seeing Sebastian there, standing and looking out at the sundown. The sky was a beautiful shade of pink and a few clouds slowly drifted across it.

‘’Hey.’’ Kimi said as he reached the man and stood next to him. Sebastian didn’t take his eyes off the horizon, only a slight smile creeping up onto his face. Kimi looked away, holding himself back from touching the other man. ‘’So… What’s up?’’ he tried.

‘’He left this morning. Packed his bags and left.’’ Sebastian said. A breeze of wind swept over them and made him shiver.

‘’Oh…’’ Kimi looked down, the foamy lining of a wave almost touching the tips of his shoes.

‘’I don’t know what to do now.’’ Sebastian continued, pushing his hands slightly more into his jacket pockets. Kimi glanced at him, listening quietly. ‘’Jade’s home alone.’’ Sebastian grimaced. ‘’It’s his dog, you know. He wanted to buy it. He should’ve taken it with him.’’

Kimi remembered the chocolate colored Labrador puppy from the photos he had sent him a few years back. Sebastian had been so happy when they got the dog.

‘’I thought he would’ve stayed.’’ the man said and Kimi focused on him again. ‘’We fought a lot, I know, but he always apologized afterwards. And I always took him back.’’

‘’Sebastian, you’re better off without him.’’ Kimi opened his mouth. This time Sebastian turned to give him a quick look and then returned to face the sundown again. ‘’You know how many times he made you feel like shit and somehow still kept you to himself.’’

‘’I lost count…’’ Sebastian said quietly but Kimi replied for him. ‘’Twelve times. Twelve times you called or texted me saying you’ll leave him. Twelve times in four years.’’

Sebastian could feel tears pricking at his eyes. He bit his lower lip to keep them away.

‘’He’s a disgusting man, Sebastian.’’ Kimi continued and wasn’t able to stop himself from placing a hand on Sebastian’s arm. To his surprise, the man turned and hugged him, burying his face into his shoulder.

‘’I love him.’’ Sebastian yelped and now his tears made wet spots onto the other man’s gray hoodie. Kimi slowly moved his hand up to Sebastian’s back and held him. The man squeezed a little more into him and Kimi placed the side of his head onto Sebastian’s.

‘’No, you don’t.’’ he said and made the man cry even more. Kimi watched the sun, drawing circles on the other man’s back. It was almost past the horizon at this point, turning the sky bright red. ‘’I got you.’’

The car windows started to fog up as the temperature outside began to drop. Sebastian sat in the passenger seat and wiped his eyes. Kimi watched him, waiting for him to start talking again.

Sebastian sighed and put on a weak smile. ‘’Remember, when you took me to that god awful concert?’’

Kimi looked at him, not sure what he was talking about. Sebastian continued: ‘’The one where the singer was so horrible, we left after a while and just walked around the town instead?’’  
  
‘’Oh, yeah,’’ Kimi grasped the memory. He smiled and fiddled with the car keys is his hands. ‘’That was ages ago…’’

Sebastian sniffled and shifted in his seat to face Kimi properly. He looked down and a warm expression took over his face. ‘’We walked for hours. Just talking and holding hands.’’

‘’We were, like, 20 at the time.’’ Kimi chuckled and shifted his eyes onto Sebastian. ‘’I paid 40 euros for those tickets, you know.’’

‘’What?’’ Sebastian laughed. ‘’You didn’t tell me that.’’

‘’I was so desperate to spend time with you.’’ Kimi smiled and Sebastian snorted. ‘’I had the biggest crush on you.’’

That made Sebastian turn his head down again, gently taking a hold of the other man’s hand. They both looked at them and it seemed so natural for their hands to be together. ‘’I liked you too…’’

‘’And then I had to move to another city with my parents.’’ Kimi’s voice turned from happy to sad. He had hated his parents for a good while after they had to move. His dad had got a better job and there really wasn’t any other option. ‘’And when I moved back, you were already going out with… him.’’

‘’Yeah…’’ Sebastian said. He rubbed his thumb on Kimi’s finger. ‘’But I’m glad we got in touch again. You really helped me through a lot.’’

‘’I’ll always be there for you.’’ Kimi said. They looked at each other and Sebastian’s eyes reddened again. ‘’I’ll always fix you.’’

*******

**Cheat Codes ft. Little Mix - Only You**

** _Dancing with your silhouette in the places that we met_ **  
** _Ooh, tryna find you in the moon_ **  
** _Paris never feels the same, when the streets all call your name_ **  
__**Ooh, so I hide in crowded rooms**  
  
** _And I'll follow right down the river_ **  
** _Where the ocean meets the sky_ **  
__**To you, to you**  
  
** _Once upon a time we had it all_ **  
** _Somewhere down the line we went and lost it_ **  
** _One brick at a time we watched it fall_ **  
** _I’m broken here tonight and darling, no one else can fix me_ **  
** _Only you, only you_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you_ **  
** _Only you, only you_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you, oh_ **  
__**Only you**  
  
** _Did I let go of your hand for a castle made of sand?_ **  
** _Ooh, that fell into the blue_ **  
** _I went following the sun to be alone with everyone_ **  
** _Ooh, looking 'round a crowded room_ **  
  
** _And I'll follow right down the river_ **  
** _Where the ocean meet_ ** ** _s the sky_ **  
__**To you, to you**  
  
** _Once upon a time we had it all (We had it all) (Mmmmh)_ **  
** _Somewhere down the line we went and lost it (We went and lost it)_ **  
** _One brick at a time we watched it fall (Fall)_ **  
** _I’m broken here tonight and darling, no one else can fix me_ **  
** _Only you, only you (Yeah)_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you (No one like you, yeah)_ **  
** _Only you, (Nobody else), only you (Oh, oh)_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you (Oh)_ **  
** _(Only you)_ **  
__**(Falling, falling, falling, yeah)**  
  
** _Only you, only you, only you, only you_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you (Only you, oh)_ **  
** _Only you, only you, only you, only you_ **  
__**And no one else can fix me, only you**  
  
** _And I'll follow right down the river_ **  
** _Where the ocean meets the sky_ **  
__**To you, to you**  
  
** _Once upon a time we had it all (We had it all) (Mmmmh)_ **  
** _Somewhere down the line we went and lost it (We went and lost it)_ **  
** _One brick at a time we watched it fall (Fall)_ **  
** _I’m broken here tonight and darling, no one else can fix me_ **  
** _Only you, only you (Yeah)_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you (No one like you, yeah)_ **  
** _Only you, (Nobody else), only you (Oh, oh)_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you (Oh)_ **  
** _(Only you)_ **  
__**(Falling, falling, falling, yeah)**  
  
** _Only you, only you, only you, only you_ **  
** _And no one else can fix me, only you (Only you, oh)_ **  
** _Only you, only you, only you, only you_ **  
**_And no one else can fix me, only you_**


	3. Horizontal Refreshment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this idea from a prompt and had to do it. I also went through 400 different euphemisms for sex and if I wasn't going to Hell before, I definitely am now.
> 
> Also, check out Bloodhound Gang's ''Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo''.  
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZpxaiNV_sM )

Lando fumbled with a coffee filter, cursing as he couldn’t get its sides off of each other. His head hurt like it had been run over by a train and as he went to rub his temple, he noticed his hair was sticky. An audible ‘_ugh’ _ came out as he tried to untangle his hair, only to succumb to the binding powers of the sugary cocktail that had spilled over him last night.

As he tried to stop the room from spinning, he was becoming more and more aware that it might have been a mistake to go out and get totally hammered. His current condition was something that even a hundred glasses of milk couldn’t fix.

When the coffee started to trickle down into the pan, Lando leaned against the counter and sighed, closing his eyes. The first smell of fresh coffee made a part of his pounding headache to stand aside. Just as he was relaxing, _ a certain someone _ tore open the kitchen curtains and a stinging shock of pain went through his head like a bullet as the blinding light poured in.

‘’Morning, sunshine!’’ Max yelled with a big smile and opened the fridge. He got out a small kettle and accompanied it with a spoon.

Lando grimaced at him, feeling like he could just about hurl at the sight of the two day old plain pasta that Max was spooning into his mouth. ‘’You’re eating cold pasta. That’s disgusting.’’

‘’I like it.’’ Max said nonchalantly and then took a proper look at his flatmate. He made note of the dark spots under his eyes, his mess of a hair and then his clothes that clearly had not been taken off before crashing into bed. ‘’Just how drunk were you last night?’’

Lando dragged his hands across his face and huffed. ‘’Well, considering I still have my jeans on, not that drunk.’’ He then turned to pour himself a cup of coffee, downing half of it in one mouthful.

Max eyed his jeans, his face turning into a sinister grin as he noticed something incriminating. ‘’Lando…’’

‘’What?’’ Lando looked back at him and was slightly startled by his friend’s expression. ‘’...Why are you pulling that face..?’’

‘’Those are definitely _ not _ your jeans.’’ Max said clearly amused and Lando looked down, his face turning white as a sheet. ‘’Yours have a rip on the left knee.’’

‘’Oh my god.’’ Lando squealed and stared at his jeans, realizing that they were A) one or two sizes bigger, B) had a visible white smudge on them, and C) definitely, _ 100% _ , not the same trousers he had exited their flat with last night at nine. The terror in his voice made Max chuckle. Lando looked at him wide-eyed and screamed: ‘’**OH MY GOD!!**’’

Max’s chuckles turned into a laughing fit, as the other young man kept chanting _ oh my god _ in various different forms and intonations. He almost choked on his pasta and coughed it back up, his eyes watering. ‘’Lando…’’ he wiped his tears. ‘’You’re such a fucking mess…’’

The Brit stared at him, pointing his hands at the impostor-jeans he had on. ‘’_**YOU THINK??!!**_’’ It made Max laugh even more, clutching his stomach. After a second, Lando’s face turned into a smile too, realizing just how horrible the situation really was. Soon, they were both laughing.

‘’Let me just.. Recap…’’ Max said between small bursts of chuckles after they had settled down. ‘’You,’’ he pointed at Lando, fighting back another fit of laughter. ‘’You, went clubbing last night even when I tried **to stop you** , and you… _ Oh my god _ , you picked up some **random**-’’

‘’I think he was hispanic...’’ Lando interrupted Max’s rant.

Max snickered and continued: ‘’As I was saying: some ** _random_ ** dude and quite clearly,’’ he gestured towards Lando’s jeans and the white smudge on them. ‘’Had a _ pants-off dance-off _ with him and then managed to **STEAL** the poor man’s perfectly fine and **INTACT** jeans.’’

Lando covered his reddening face with his hands and made a noise one could only dub as a _ plea to be thrown into a gully and to never see the light of day again _ . ‘’Never, and I say _ never _, let me out of this apartment ever again.’’

‘’What,’’ Max chuckled and got back to his pasta. ‘’You should be happy you got to _ take the hot dog bus to Taco Town _. It’s been a while for you, my friend.’’

Lando snorted at him and reached for his coffee cup again. ‘’Stop, the euphemisms are giving me a second headache.’’

Max smiled at him, sinking another spoonful of pasta. ‘’One could say, you went _ Vulcanizing the Whoopee stick. _’’

‘’No, stop.’’ Lando laughed, kicking the man on his shins. That only encouraged Max to reach deeper into his chest of bizarre sexual innuendos.

‘’Got to _ Squishin’ the gibbly bits.’’ _ Max licked his spoon.

‘’Please, no more..’’ Lando rolled his eyes and giggled.

‘’_Oscillated the Unmentionables…’’ _

‘’No.’’

‘’_Brought an al dente noodle to the spaghetti house. _’’

‘’That’s just weird.’’

‘’Did the good old _ bow-chick-a-wow-wow _ and went and _ bonded your wiener with the schnitzel _.’’

‘’You know what? I’ll just move out-...’’

‘’...-_Locked legs and swapped gravy. _’’ 

‘’Ew.’’ Lando sneered and took a sip from his coffee. Lando knew that the ** _grande finale_ ** was coming and braced himself for impact. 

Max smirked and slowly raised his eyebrows. ‘’... Went _ Squat-jumping in the cucumber patch. _’’

‘’**nO, MAX!**’’ Lando shrieked and slapped his flatmate on the arm, erupting the kitchen into yet another laughing mess.


	4. Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel has the great idea of going stargazing in the middle of the night. Max doesn't quite approve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back again, and this time with a little thing I've been wanting to write for a while now.
> 
> You're welcome :-)

The cool tarmac under Max made his bones ache, but the beauty opening up above him was enough to ignore it. He startled a little as the track lights switched off and the stars became the only source of light. This was so dumb, and they could get into so much trouble for sneaking out onto the track in the middle of the night, but Daniel was right next to him on that cold tarmac and made him feel warm.

‘’Is that a-’’ Daniel focused his eyes onto one point in the sky. ‘’Wait, no, just an airplane.’’

Max snickered at him and slapped his left hand onto the man’s stomach, earning a groan and a jolt from Daniel. ‘’Keep quiet, I don’t want a security guard dragging us out of here. Especially after scratching my leg on that stupid steel fence.’’

Daniel chuckled and Max let his hand rest there on his stomach. A weak breeze swept over them, making the younger man shiver a bit. ‘’You cold?’’ Daniel turned his head to face Max and took a hold of his hand, rubbing it gently.

‘’No.’’ Max said but what he really meant was: ‘ _ yes, you idiot, it’s autumn and you woke me up just to be scared for my life to be caught sneaking around _ ’. Daniel smiled and looked back up.

‘’Yeah, you’re cold.’’ he said with a content smile on his face. Max wanted to smack him. ‘’But you have to admit, it’s pretty.’’

Max gazed at the stars. Million of them glimmering back at him. ‘’Yeah..’’

‘’Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature..-’’ Daniel started and got another slap on him.

‘’I’m beautiful, you idiot.’’ Max said and made the Australian laugh out loud, only to get yet another slap in return and Max shutting him up. ‘’I’m going to beat your ass, if you get us caught!’’ he hissed.

‘’Ooh, I wish.’’ Daniel grinned at him and made the young man flush. He then rolled over, reaching over Max and looking down. ‘’I love you, you Dutch bastard.’’ his voice was like honey, melting through Max’s whole body.

‘’And I hate you, you Aussie brick.’’ Max croaked back dryly. Daniel smiled and leaned slightly down, planting a kiss on his lips. Max moved his arm up from old habit, placing his hand on the other man’s side. Just as he was going to slowly run it down, he heard a car roll up at the other side of the chain-link fence.

‘’Oh, shit.’’ Daniel said as he looked up and saw the car park. It had a security firm’s logo on the side. ‘’It’s the guard. Come on, let’s go.’’

He pulled Max up with him, the Dutchman taking a look at the car and then immediately cowering down a little. ‘’Oh, great, now we’re going to get suspended for life! Great idea, _ Daniel _ , to get out here.’’ he hissed through his teeth and smacked Daniel. The other man smirked and then grabbed his hand.

‘’Come on, we gotta run.’’ he said and pulled Max after himself just as the guard was opening his car door. ‘’You’ll never catch us alive!’’ Daniel yelled after them and Max actually wished the guard would chase them down and tase him. They heard a distant ‘’Oi!’’ as the security guard spotted them.

‘’Oh, he actually heard us-’’ Daniel said and made them run faster, disappearing into the darkness before the guard could climb over the fencing. The speed they charged through half of the race track might have just been a new track record. The Australian giggling like a maniac, the two drivers managed to outrun him and pass through off the track and into the pit lane.

‘’Jesus Christ, I hate you so much..’’ Max got out as he tried to settle down his breathing. Daniel laughed at him and slumped down on the ground panting.

‘’Admit it, this is exciting!’’ Daniel exclaimed and chuckled. Max glared at him and then held out his hand to pull him back up.

‘’Let’s get going, before the guard finds us again.’’ Max said with something Daniel swore was a hint of a smile on his face. The other man nodded in agreement and they took off, running again, hand in hand.


End file.
